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Sunday, April 01, 2007

Kodak Merger Announced

by Ctein

The latest news to shake the photography world is yet another change in direction by Great Yellow Father and the announcement of a major corporate merger. It was just a few years ago that Kodak CEO Antonio Perez announced that for all intents and purposes film was dead and Kodak would be devoting its future energies to digital photography. In today's press release, Kodak announced that, in effect, digital photography was dead and the future was in telecommunications.

"The up-and-coming generation of young image makers don't even use cameras. They use cell phones," Perez said. "They freely intermingle still images and video clips, sending them to their friends and posting them on-line. They don't even think about photography in the traditional sense. And they don't buy cameras and they don't get prints made. It's all going virtual.

"Cameras and prints have always been our core business, whether based on film or digital image capture. If we're going to survive into the 22nd century, we have to move beyond photography.

"Accordingly, today we announce our merger with AT&T. Both the Kodak and AT&T brand names will be subsumed into the new 'Telecom Photoimaging Corporation.'"

The new company, which will trade as TPC on the NYSE, is wasting no time in beginning its marketing campaign. It won't rely on live celebrities; instead, "cyber-stars," both former and present day, will trumpet the new business. James Colburn will be the first cyber-spokesman to carry the new megacorporation's banner with the slogan, "The right choice. The only choice."

The potential merger has raised antitrust eyebrows in government and in the electronics industry. The merger will take at least two years to complete; with the distinct possibility of regime change in Washington in 2008, skeptics wonder if this merger will ever be completed.

Kodak corporate attorneys are confident of success. "Oh, we're not worried about the White House. We never have trouble with the White House.


Posted by: CTEIN

Happy April Fool's Day!


Blogger Nick Wright said...

Hook, line and sinker.

1:04 PM  
Blogger Jason said...

Why does the image of a fish out of water come to mind?

22nd century? I wonder if they'll make it to the 2nd decade 21st century.

1:08 PM  
Blogger ADias said...

It should be noted that today is April 1...

1:10 PM  
Blogger Apprentice said...

Can you cite a source for this? Not that I'd be surprised, but hey, it is 1st April after all.

Thanks. :)

1:14 PM  
Blogger Albano Garcia said...

You wrote a post sometime ago about myths in digital photography, I remember reading about jpg compression vs. uncompressed formats, but I was unable to read it at the moment. Now, I try to read it, but going backwards in the archives, I can't find it. Was it deleted? Self-censored?

1:22 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Just checking the date/time there -- I thought the tradition was to do this before noon? :-)

1:44 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

April Fools :-)

1:48 PM  
Blogger Ctein said...

Dear A,

I think you're asking about"Demythologizing Photoshopping—Six Insights?"

It's still there-- here's a tiny URL that points to it:

pax / Ctein

1:51 PM  
Blogger Richard Sintchak said...

Happy April Fool's Day everyone!

1:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It was sunny today too. Amazing co-incidence.

1:54 PM  
Blogger thechrisproject said...


2:11 PM  
Blogger Mike Johnston said...

"I thought the tradition was to do this before noon?"

It's my tradition to sleep past noon on Sundays if possible. In the clash of traditions, mine won. (s)


2:14 PM  
Blogger Albano Garcia said...

Yes Ctein, thanks!

2:44 PM  
Blogger Andy Frazer said...

It's probably still "before noon" somewhere in the world :-)

3:33 PM  
Blogger Ctein said...

It was where I am. Perhaps as the originating source, my time zone can take precedence?

pax / chronologically-challenged Ctein

6:30 PM  
Blogger Tom said...

Happy April Fools Day... (I hope)


Tampa Bay Photographer

6:39 PM  
Blogger Ken Tanaka said...

Cute, Ctein. Cute.

Happy 4/1 to you, too! [grin]

7:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I managed to get half way thought before coping it was an April 1st post. Well written and almost believable.

1:17 AM  
Blogger hugo solo said...

since 2001 digital is my only choice the right choice,since 2001 I enlarge only 30 little format photos from my dead aiptek vga,today my cookie box is a tft monitor.

3:59 AM  
Blogger Player said...

At a cookout on Sunday, someone informed me that my car had gotten side-swiped. I thought we were still in the month of March--no clue. Now this! ;)

7:06 AM  
Blogger Jason said...

LOL. Ya' got me.

9:18 AM  
Blogger dasmb said...

You bastard. I read this on Monday morning and its sheer plausibility had me shocked and in full belief.

(Indeed, Kodak should think about this business plan. They need something, and cell phones need better imaging tech).

You had me until "The right choice; the only choice," a slogan that's just a bit too ominous.

9:34 AM  
Blogger AndyK said...

It may be a spoof, but sounds like a good plan to me.

According to Lyra Research:

"By 2009, the cumulative number of camera phones shipped since the inception of the camera phone category in this millennium will exceed the total number of all film and digital cameras shipped in the entire history of photography since the 1800s."

1:51 PM  
Blogger Paul G. said...

Didn't fool me AT&T doesn't have the Imag e ination to do it or execute it.

10:38 PM  

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