Harmellack Confused by lack of "D"
SA*Photo Industry Observer, Feb. 22, 2006 — Englishman Mr. Myron Harmellack of Tweedle, Boggs, Hampingtonshire, Nutts, UK refused last Wednesday to purchase a Sony R-1 from his local Oddsgood the Chemist Camera Annex, citing the lack of a "D" in the product name. It seems he was excessively skeptical about whether or not it was actually a digital camera.
"All digital cameras have a 'D' in their name. This one didn't," said Mr. Harmellack, when asked to comment.
"I pointed out that it had an LCD. I showed him the port for the card. I even hooked the blarsted thing to a Dell," said an exasperated Wally Tranespotter, 22, part-time Oddsgood salesperson. "I took a picture of him lecturing me! Who am I? What does he think I can do, develop the film with a snap a' me fingers like blardy 'Arry Potter?"
"There's the 1D, the D1, the D100, the D200, two 5D's, two D2's," Mr. Harmellack stated adamantly. "The 1Ds, the D70, D50, 7D, 300D, 350D, star-ist-D, star-ist-DS. On and on."
"There's really no rule," we pointed out, gently.
"What's this R-1 anyway, a 'rigital' camera?" scoffed Harmellack huffily, guffawing. "Bollyjokes! Codlets! Pimplefaced lad thought he's pulling the woolies over these peepers. There's no such thing as a 'rigital' camera. I warn't born last Tuesday week. "
"Sure, I told the old toker to go woof," said an angry Tranespotter, who got reprimanded in the wake of the imbroglio by Mr. H. Doslington, 58, his immediate supervisor. "What was I to do? It's not my fault if the barmly old woogedeloo is appled in the old gray matter. Bokeh-brain!"
"And all proper film cameras have an 'F,' " continued Harmellack, wandering off. "There's the F100. The New F-1. The old F-1. The F. The F2. The F3, F4, F5, FM2...."
Photo Industry Observer cites this incident as a renewed caution to camera manufacturers to continue to ignore the other 25 letters of the alphabet where DSLRs are concerned, if at all possible. They only confuse people. That important "D" continues to be much needed.
Posted by: MARMADUKE BLELLINGBLECH
* Satire Alert. This alert is provided as a courtesy for verbally tone-deaf and non-native English speaking readers. We might also observe in this case, for those of you who have never been to England, that the writer has no actual knowledge of British slang and is merely attempting to reproduce what it sort of sounds like sometimes.**
** The bit about "bokeh-brain" is however authentic British slang.